The Spring of the Drowned Brak
by Burn-it
Summary: Brak finds his way into Ranma


The Spring of the Drowned Brak  
  
Burn-it and Blackheart745 were in the middle of China with Ranma, and Jeff Hardy. Of course, there were a few other people like Shampoo, Moose, and Sock (another amazon named after an inanimate object like all the others), but they aren't important to the story. Uh, are they? Blackheart- How should I know, you're the narrator. Well you're the one writing this stupid thing. Blackheart- Hey, just because I'm typing doesn't mean I'm the brains behind it. Burn-it- Wow, you're actually compleh. Blackheart- Joe's come up with some pretty humorous ideas over the past few weeks. I swear, who would've thought of a Nabiki Ryoko pairing? I swear, this guy's a. Burn-it- What about me? Blackheart- Oh yeah, him too. And Joe also came up with the funniest. Burn-it's thoughts (sweat drops)- Sometimes I don't know why I even bother. Blackheart- What's that drop thing on your forehead? Ranma- You sure you watch anime? Blackheart- Yeah, but I never saw one of. AAAAAAH! Before he could finish, Burn-it lunged onto his back. Burn-it- YOU NEVER GIVE ME CREDIT! YOU ALWAYS THINK MY IDEAS SUCK! NOW HOLD STILL SO I CAN RIP YOUR APPENDIX OUT! Blackheart's thoughts- Wait, don't I need that? Nah, I think you have three of them. Or is that our liver? AAAAAAAAOOOOOWWWW!!!! Burn-it then began to chew on Blackheart's eyebrows. A big mistake, for Blackheart lost his balance and fell forward; thus causing Burn-it to fall into a spring conveniently placed in the spot he fell. Guide-Hey, what going on here? I try to enjoy chop suey, and I hear splashing and screaming and. Oh boy. Which one of you losers fall in spring now? Ranma- The short one. Blackheart- No, I'm still. Hey, I'm not short you little.! Ranma- No, the OTHER short one. Sock- He no short. You short, shorty. You so short. Blackheart- Oh great, you had to get the Sock going on short, didn't you? Guide- Oh great. You idiots again. Bad enough WWE superstar fall in spring of drowned girl, how he fll in spring of drowned Brak. Ranma- What's a Brak. Voice- Where am I? And what's with my teeth? They're bigger than my mouth. Oh yeah, they've always been like that. I wonder why. Blackheart- Oh god, not that Brak! Blackheart starts running so he won't get annoyed. However. Guide- Wait, look out for. Blackheart- AAAAAAAH! Guide- Twig. Blackheart fell into another spring, and emerged as some sort of mutated man sized mantis. Guide- Ooh, that too bad. You fall in spring of drowned Zorak. Shmpoo- What is Zorak? Ranma- Yeah, did a bunch of aliens drown in here recently or what? Guide- I don't know. Ranma- Okay, how did you know about the girl spring, bt not know about this one?! Guide- What do I look like, keeper of springs of drowned stuff? Blackheart- Dude, whose the fat loser? Guide- Hey, I am not fat! I am big boned! Blackheart- That's fat in idiot-ese. Burn-it- Gee Zorak, where have you been all these yeas? Zorak- Years? Did you become evenstupidder than you aready are? I woke up ten minutes ago! Colone- Ah, these two. I remember them three thousand years ago. Ranma- Sheesh, how old are you? After Ranma gets clubbed by Colone, a flash back occurred.  
  
(FLASHBACK) Back in the days when colone was taller, skinnier, and didn't look like a shriveled old raisen. Colone- Why I oughta.! Suddenly, something fell from the sky. Brak- Gee Zorak, why'd you crash the ship? Zorak- Simple. I mimic everything I see on the Tom Green Show. Brak- Well, that explains the moose incident. But ou think you shouldbe watching stuff like that? My mom doesn't. Zorak- Your mom this, your mom that. Look, if you want to be cool, you should tell your mom to SHUT UP! Brak- But that's not very nice Zorak. Zorak- That's the point. I'm not nice, and I'm the coolest dude here! However, after they quit arguing, they trampled the amazon's gardens. Thus causing the amazons (who were ticked off because they wouldn't have enough crops to harvest) chased them. Zorak- You realize this is your fault. Brak- Man, everything's my fault! Zorak- That's because YOU'RE STUPID! The chase eventually ended when they fell in two springs. Then they eventually drowned, cursed the springs with their sprits, blah blah blah, yap yap yap, jibber jibber jiber, who really gives a rat, and so on.  
  
  
  
(BACK TO PRESENT) Ranma- So they ARE aliens! Colone- Yes, and one even has hisown TV show! Blackheart- Uh. I like the Staurday adult swim better. That space clown's about as funny as a tetnis shot to the eye. HALE YUSUKE!  
  
Brak- What are we going to do to have fun? Zorak- I got an idea. Colone- Oh no you don't! You're fixing what you destroyed all those years ago. Zorak- Hey, it's that dried out raisen from three thousand years ago. Colone- I AM NOT A RAISEN! Zorak got clubbed on the head; knocking him unconscious. Brak- Zorak? Zorak? Zorak, you're having a nightmare!  
  
  
  
And so it came to pass that Brak and Zorak would have garden dutey in the amazon village. Zorak- This isboring. Why do I get carrots and Brak gets beats? Meanwhile, Brak's dressed in a beat costume; dancing around like a total idiot. Yeah, what else is new? Brak- Well beats are red, and really nice. THEY GROW IN ALL THE GARDENS! They grow in really dirty dirt, so you always gotta wash 'em! LA LA LA. Zorak- You wouldn't happen to have a gun on you, would you? I think I hear an animal in pain. Ranma- Sorry, I don't use weapons. Joe- Sorry, left my light saber at home. Moose- Can we get hot water yet? Colone- No, I'm enjoying torturing the giant mantis. Because before he drowned, he told me I looked like a raisen. Zorak- You're right, I take that back. You're not a raisen. You're a dried out, old, good for nothing, low life, raisen like PRUNE SUBSTITUTION! Suddenly, Colone rolls up her sleeve to reveal a power band around your wrist. She pressed a button on it, thus firing a laser at Zorak, and blowing him up Zorak- (cough cough) You're still a raisen. Colone- I AM NOT A RAISEN! It took Zorak about ten hits to realize the raisen comment would equal getting zapped. Brak- I love raisens. In fact, I wrote a song about raisens. (singing) Raisens are dried out because the sun done made them that way. La la. And there's wrinkly and pruny as the lady next to me! LA LA LA. Shampoo- GrGreat grandmother, why are you no zapping fanged man with funny head? Colone- It isn't worth killing something too supid to be alive in the first place.  
  
  
  
Eventually, the gardening was finished, and the guide came with the cure. Colone- Good. We're going to need it. That creature's getting on my nerves. Ranma- Which one? They're both annoying the heck out of me. Brak- I love gardening. Don't you Azorak? Zorak- No. but Joe hear just gave me an idea for a yuri. Brak- Yu whah? Zorak- Never mind, it's too intelligent for your raisen sized. Colone- What did you say?! Zorak- I was commenting on his brain you old raisen. Oops. Colone clubbed him about thirty times. Meanwhile, brak continued to rant on about gardening; eventually bursting into a musical number about it. Fortunately, he never got past the first verse, for Ranma dumped the spring of drowned man upon him, and the barely unconscious Zorak. Thus returning them to Burn-it and Blackheart745. (Note that Blackheart has at least fourty lumps on his head, not counting the low blows.) Blackheart- Man, how'd I get such a headache? Ranma- HaIt had something to do with raisens. Blackheart- Yeah, that really clues me in idiot. Burn-it- What happened anyway? I have this strange urge to sing about beats, and I don't know why. Everyone except Blackheart- NO MORE SINGING! Burn-it- What, not even Bob Seger at karaoke night?? Ranma- Bob Seger's good, but if you sing about beats again, I'll BEAT you! Moose- Sheesh, and I thought Blackheart's joke sucked. Blackheart- Like you could do better Elk? Moose- It's MOOSE! Blackheart- Moose as in the animal, or the hair product? Moose- Hair product you dimwit!  
  
  
  
Well, Blackheart and Burn-it were eventually told the stoy and were so embarrassed, they liteally turned as red as beats. Colone- Don't say anything more about beats. It's annoying. Sorry you dried out raisen. Colone- Oh I am so going to thump you one after this.  
  
  
  
THE.  
  
KA-BONG!  
  
OW! Why you little.!  
  
POW!  
  
Uh. THE END 


End file.
